Six Hacks to Reduce Stress among Kids

                                                         

Stress is a reaction to a stimulus that disturbs our physical or mental equilibrium. A stressful event can trigger the “fight-or-flight” response, causing hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol to surge through the body. 

Stress is the sometimes strong hidden cause of Anger among children. This can be from positive as well as negative event however majorly it is destructive in nature due to its unconstructive occasion. Reasons of stress related anger may be, parent's angry and negative behaviours, separation, rejection from peers or parents, lack of trust, perfectionist tendencies, school stress, loss of grandparent etc.

As parents, we should be considerate enough towards ourselves as well as kids. Expecting too much from both the sides is like living in a fantasy World of Alice in Wonderland or Disney World where everything is charming, sumptuous, resplendent and magical. Expecting too much from our kids in areas such as academics, behaviour, socialisation can be unrealistic and unjustified and we might look like an immature parent who is still not ready for truthful parenting. Every child, parent and parent-child relationship is different.

According to Carrie Wendel-Hummell, a researcher at the University of Kansas, there are various factors contributing to stress among parents as well as children. It is not just because of too much of work and responsibilities added towards new parents after the birth of a baby too but also social and peer pressure to project themselves as perfect families within the society. 

Everyone is eager to see each other’s photographs and status updates on Social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) and make judgements of their good being. Seeing X friend’s vacation album mount’s unseen pressure and stress on parents to provide better support and luxuries to their children.

Tim Elmore, in his book entitled “Twelve Huge Mistake Parents Can Avoid” mentions that parents should have high BUT healthy expectations for themselves and children. He states that parents should not be guilty of failing on different as care takes rather they should prepare kids for the real world and its true colours.

Having marital discord or separation from spouse affects the child adversely leading to extremely complicated relationship with the left-behind parent. In some cases, unfortunately, child not only loses the separated parent but also faces unintentional negative and un-genuine side of left behind parent.
Another massive cause of stress can be bullying in school that can cause personality

development failure in both typical and atypical children. A popular child can also be bullied in school, regardless of any reason. Bullying which can be verbal or physical germinates stress, anger along with fear to be accepted among peers.

So there can be infinite reasons of stress among teens and children which can be reduced using appropriate strategies after analysis of exact reason of stress within child. According to Lancet 2007 Global Mental Health Report, the commencement of mental health issues is most likely between the age groups of fifteen and twenty-four, making it a primary time for problems to emerge if parents are not careful. Numbing behaviours like over- or under-eating, cutting, drinking, drugging and, ramping up perfectionistic behaviors are modern traps for our children and teens.

As a paediatric OT, I have seen a number of parents being concerned about their child’s behaviour within the community. A common concern for parents is how to support their children in dealing with stress-related anger, and how to prevent them from resorting to aggression. Many parents are concerned about a number of violence children are exposed to at school, on the television, while watching video games, and in their friend circles.

Here are Six practical strategies which can be used by parents to reduce Stress levels among children and improve parent-child relationship.

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Improve Socialisation: Let your child have a good number of friends. Making and keeping friends reduces stress. This also helps to get rid of anxiety or depression. This supports a child in becoming  well-connected to peers as well as makes them a good communicator. 
Facilitation of positive behaviour among peers helps in establishing cognitive and emotional skills that are required to engage competently. This reflects child to be socially accepted by his crowd and he is able to understand the relevance of gestures, facial expressions and other social cues.

However, this does not mean that parents should not be aware of (Four Ws) where, when, with whom and why their child is going. One should be inquisitive about child's

behaviour in home and outside. 
Discuss with the child that there can be a possible solution to his or her problem or situation. Implementing Problem Solving Approach is advantageous. 
Reassurance is important from parent’s side so that child can trust them and share any issue, for example, being bullied in school or stressed due to a school trip.  He should be sure that my mummy and daddy have a solution to every problem. This confidence among parents will make their bond strong.

Hugs and Kisses for Reassurance: Often children find nothing better than hugs and kisses for calming down and getting support from parents. Hugs give deep pressure (proprioceptive input) to our bones, joints and muscles which help in calming down and

reducing stress level. This helps raised levels of Cortisol hormone to decrease. This hormone is often measured as means of quantifying physiological response to a stressor. Therefore, any reason (bullying, loss of the pet) which can raise Cortisol levels (stress) can be decreased by hugging or kissing the child. 

Stories Make a difference:Telling stories about children with similar problems and feelings make your child realise that he is not the only one to struggle from stress.Discussing problems on Stress Forums or Groups can be a Self-help or joining Stress Help Communities can reduce anxiety and stress. 
Parents may share their childhood situations to overcome stress and anger. I find this

as one, of best ways to change child's negative behaviours. Parents should mention their struggle and hard work to stressed children. 
Sharing own stories will motivate kids to stay calm and think better. 
Watching movies together or telly shows related to the hyper-competitive world of today will support the child to discuss professional issues with parents. Stress due to academics, competition, bullying or grief will disrupt the learning and healthy development of individual physically, mentally and emotionally.

Praise the Child: Appreciation and encouragement help children realise that they are worthwhile doing a particular given task. This also helps to develop self-confidence. 

Notice, praise and encourage good behaviour rather than focussing on bad behaviour. 
One of my student diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome always faced high levels of stress just before couple of weeks before exams. 
On talking to him, I discovered it was high parental expectations to achieve good grades in exams. Rather than being focussed, this young boy had big struggle to concentrate on studies. During one to one session, we sat down with a white sheet and a colour pen of his choice. 
We started listing his achievements and failure in past 6 months. Lastly, it was concluded that his sports, extra-curricular, and Information Technology achievements are greater than his failures This discovered fact about himself, made him feel better and positive. 
Therefore, it’s important to improve child’s self-esteem and confidence level time and again to make him feel affirmative and relevant towards himself.

Charity Work or Fund raising for a cause: Children should be encouraged, to help others (E.g. making the cross road to elderly or differently able) or perform Community Work through charity.
Parents may develop habit of performing, at least one good deed or favour per month

which involves children in charity. This makes a child more resilient. Charity can be to spread awareness about a particular topic or to help for a cause. This can be a marathon for Macmillan Cancer Patients or even picking litter for community welfare. Many charities focus on the environment, for example, work to help people to learn about threats to the climate and too fragile ecosystems. Sparing out time for charity not only improves self-esteem and kindness skills but also gives opportunities to meet and communicate with new people from different spheres. 
Charity begins at home, they can even support the mother in cooking or washing dishes after dinner. This will not only improve parental relationship but also enhance child’s skills on particular task.

SEVEN EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR PARENTAL HANDLING IN AGGRESSIVE KIDS

Anger is the foundation of Aggression, Violence, and Hostility. Although a lot of researches are being conducted in psychological and psychiatric settings, however,Occupational Therapy studies have developed some basic framework that underpins assessments and treatment interventions for improving child's behaviour and reducing anger.Aggression,violence and hostility may be common in the school, college, community setting , however, it has other dimensions as well.

Anger can be anticipated, explored as well as investigated under antisocial behaviours or occupations. Aggression has been found to be disruptive in nature having broader concepts, with an effort to control and harm another person at work or home.

However, when it comes to children and teenagers they should not be victimised of physical force or mental agony with the intention to damage.

Occupational Therapy works to improve and maintain physiological arousal, Cognitive domain as well as Social Participation of the teenager by involving them into meaningful and purposeful Occupations.

These Rising Horizons of tomorrow do not need authoritative, permissive or uninvolved parenting styles but a feeling of gentle touch, affection love, and care. They need warmth, togetherness happiness and satisfaction in their lives expected from their parent’s side.

It’s essential to make ourselves understand our kids. We cannot expect them to be the best in a universe without changing ourselves attitudes and behaviours according to their needs and desires. Parents have to be adaptable depending on their children’s thoughts and beliefs. Parents having dysfunctional relations (drug or alcohol abuse, marital discord) and social interaction within the family cannot expect reciprocal love and affection from opposite side.

SEVEN EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR PARENTAL HANDLING IN AGGRESSIVE KIDS!!

GETTING INVOLVED WITH THE CHILD: The uninvolved parenting style will lead the child to be insensitive, unsupportive and destructive in nature. Such parents are indifferent to what’s happening in their child’s life and are not concerned for his well-being. Involvement with the child is an essential action. Understanding their needs, desires, strengths, limitations and interests are important. Solving their school problems, listening to them effectively (being empathetic listener) understanding their causes and situations of stress, tension, and disruptive behaviour is explanations to handle a child’s misbehaviour.

Key Note-Parents should understand their behaviour as well as set rules and discipline standards to be followed at home and outside.

 WHEN AGGRESSION IS A PERSONALITY TRAIT: Sometimes child’s intelligence quotient (IQ) may be low. He might not able to understand or concentrate on academics completely. Hence, it becomes difficult for the child to cope up with the academics as well as social situations leading to high frustration and more aggression. In such cases parents should take up the role of teacher, imparting knowledge, skills, and values to their children. They should encourage and help them out in money management, simple calculations, spelling correction as well as in simple academics. Moreover, involving kids in constructive works such as gardening, kitchen tasks, board games, wood working, and soccer will divert their energy powerhouses into a positive direction.

Key Note – Involvement of the child into a task that he can successfully complete causing positive motivation, satisfaction and confidence building.

CHECK WHAT THEY WATCH: Many studies have predicted that Television violence and violent video games act as the strong catalyst to promote aggression in children of teenage. Researchers suggest that children may learn aggression from viewing others and watching violent acts increases excitation or arouses the viewer towards aggression in response. Viewing or playing violent games may lead to increased likelihood of aggressive behaviour, thoughts, and emotions. This may be the cause of verbal or physical bullying in future. 

Key Note-Thus, parents should always keep a check on subjects their children are watching through media. It is important to feed the developing mind with healthy nutrition by engaging them in the more meaningful task.

DON’T REJECT YOUR CHILD: Child might feel personally rejected or maladaptive due to marital discord, parent’s involvement in drug or substance abuse or antisocial attitudes of one or both the parents, while adjusting with a new parent or sibling within the family or parent’s involvement into physical aggression. Activities providing the feeling of fun, togetherness, enjoyment and companionship should be encouraged. Social interaction with relatives, friends and peer are important.

Key Note-In such cases parents should have significant abilities such as effective communication skills, being respectful to child’s confidential talks, openness towards child’s new ideas and strong listener.

FAMILY ENVIRONMENT: Plays a strong part in developing child’s mental processing. When parents show impulsive and violent behaviour, within the family and outside, the children also try to follow the same pattern. Violence and aggression in the family cause poor intelligence with greater anxiety. Harsh and inconsistent discipline practices lead to ineffective parenting. It is essential to identify areas of conflict leading to potential risk.

Key Note-Exploration and Modification of parent’s behaviour will work wonders. Parents should discipline themselves as they are projected role models of their kids.

REJECTION BY PEER LEADS TO AGGRESSION: As children grow mentally and physically towards their teenage, they measure themselves with peer acceptance. If they find themselves competent enough in comparison to others, then their sense of self-confidence raises. Contrary to this lack of popularity or rejection leads to low self-esteem, self-confidence as well as decreased self-concept. Finding, themselves weak leads to anxiety, frustration, and being rejected. As this is persistent and consistent they tend to be aggressive, short-tempered resulting in being violent in future.  Parents should involve teachers, school, Peer group Support for establishing harmonious relations. It’s important to ensure that they will not be neglected from their peer group as well as techniques such as Assertive Training, Effective Coping, and Communication Skills should be incorporated.

 Key Note-Teachers and parents should form Therapeutic Relations with potential aggressive kids, respect their thoughts and should be empathetic towards them. Encourage them for Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution of issues. 

PHYSIOLOGICAL AROUSAL: Effects on a body are quite prominent and visible. The increase in Blood pressure, muscle tension and tightening, voice becoming louder, faster respiration (breathing pattern), increased stomach acids, face turning red, and lack of concentration are some signs. Kids might feel agitated, angry or furious at this point of time. Key Note-Firstly, parents should be aware of common triggers or situations that lead to their child’s physiological arousal affecting his cognitive domain and social aspects of life. These situations should be avoided if possible. Secondly, they might not be able to concentrate on academics, talk negatively, and feel out of control with their temper. Using Relaxation Techniques, Calming Breadths, as well as teaching Self-Monitoring Techniques will help. Consequences of anger outbursts should be identified and resolved. Diverting their energies in physical force such as boxing bag, Drawing, Dancing, writing down Expressions Walking, Running, and Riding Bicycle. 

Key Note-Involving them in voluntary work to help either differently- abled, elderly or children will help to recognise the worth of being independent and will lead to healthy living.