5 key support strategies to express thoughts and feelings among aggressive children!

Usually young ones and teens show anger or aggressive behaviour due to fear of disapproval or rejection. It is essential tackle them very carefully during aggression and emotional outbursts. Here are some tips to support kids in expressing their emotions through different mediums!!

Journals

 Journals: Writing journals or simply using diaries to express thoughts is a simple but very expressive way of communication to your child.Personalised diaries can be used for self-expressing thoughts and feeling.Writing poetry sometimes is very calming medium of self-expression and innovation. This helps in distracting the child from aggression and promotes creativity however can be applicable in teens and adults. Through this medium of communication he/she can express himself/herself without shame and guilt. Key Note: Written Expression supports child to release anger without involvement of any other person. This can be child’s individualism.

White Boards-Great source of expression

White Boards: One more medium of expression can be through white boards! This can be something new and altered source of communication for the young kids. Expressing thoughts, emotions and gestures on white or blackboard can also support in vertical writing practice (Good for core hand strengthening and precise writing). It also improves handwriting difficulties among young ones. Encourage kids to write whatever new they learn in school or other social situations. Using colourful marker pens for drawing or writing can make self-expression more interesting and revealing. Key Note: Great resource for expression for young ones and adults!

Building rapport with yout child!

Winning the Trust: Most essential aspect of thought expression is winning the trust. Usually children hide their feelings since they do not consider parents or caregivers trustworthy to share any perceptions and classroom experiences.

It is important for the parents to spend time with children and listen to his or her words wisely without interrupting or discouraging him or her. Additionally, parents should be capable enough to make child understand marked difference between right and wrong.

Let the child express him without any fear of rejection, guilt or shame. This is parent’s responsibility to understand own child’s behaviour in co-correlation with the given situation.

On contrary, sometimes children pretend to express their whole trust on parents expressing themselves as innocent in particular situation to win parent’s trust. However, parents should be able distinguish when child is guiltless and when manipulative. Key Note: Read between the lines!! Analyse when child is expressing right facts and when he is being manipulative in his thoughts.

Quiet Space Area

Give free space: Concept of free area or space is extremely effective. Provision of quiet space area in classrooms and homes support children to calm down and pacify themselves.

            Space and time to think about own mistake helps them act more wisely next time. During these times they can also be given inanimate objects like a stress ball or sand tray to alleviate the anger. Key Note: This resource acts as self-calming.

How do you feel when Angry?

Emotion Chart: Introduction to emotion’s chart is important. Sometimes children are baffled about self-emotions. Show them pictures of different emotions such as anger, being sad, happy etc. so that they better understand the connection between feelings and self-expression.Lack of understanding of feelings is common among teens also. Therefore, imparting education about different emotions is essential part teaching expressions. Key Note:Understanding of different emotions is imperative!

Aggression among kids and teens!

PROBLEM SOLVING BEHAVIOR

This remedy works in few simple steps, however, requires patience, strategic organisation, motivation and understanding for both parents as well as the child. Problem Solving Approach is a common procedure which can act as Self-Intervention strategy to control higher levels of Anger.

 It raises awareness of child in regard to his own temperament, emotion and behaviour and how to resolve conflicts within him and outside world.

However, all defined remedies work on the principle of Will Power. It is very important that child should realise his misbehaviour in order to rectify it and parents should coordinate with him, without blaming or tagging him for bad behaviour. 

Problem Solving Behaviour involves to:

IDENTIFICATION OF TARGET BEHAVIOR LEADING TO LABEL THE CHILD AS AGGRESSIVE:

• Having excessive pattern of overreacting
•  Lying
• Low Self Esteem
• Being impulsive in particular situation
• Getting aggravated by provocative situations
•  Complaining about students treating him or her badly
• On lookouts of Annoyance (Negative Bias)
• Blaming others for their Behaviour (Blame Game)
  Parents should work collaboratively with children to identify target behaviour that is labelling the child to be aggressive.
  
  
  SET A PLAN:
  Set a plan to eliminate such behaviour.

• Try to develop attitude of tolerance and respect,
• Use of Positive Self Statements (E.g.: Chill Out! exhale away anger, Ignore them, Stop Shouting etc)  
• Actively listening to others,
• Being a buddy (Helping out bullied peer),
• Ignoring Distractions and Provocations
• Sharing ideas and views in classroom
• Using e-mail support that is chat rooms for confidentiality
• Use sense of humour to defuse situations of provocation
  Parents should monitor and record the child’s behaviour and each time there is misbehaviour in a day it should be counted. Every time child gets angry he should be prompted with increasing number of counts of a day. Child should be rewarded if number of counts of misbehaviour decrease on a particular day. This positive reinforcement will encourage him to control his habit of losing temper frequently. If your child refuses to follow positive self Statements or Self Talk Statements just offer an extra incentive for trying it. Sometimes children need extra care and attention along with reward to follow particular instruction (Extra Time Playing in Playground, Buying new set of Clothes, Treat party on weekend).
  Obstacles are very common during implementation of plan but parents and teachers also have to follow never Give up Spirit!!
  
  
  WORKING DURING THE EVENT:
  Now, it’s time to practice and apply the above plan at the time of Provocation or Situation that may Trigger Anger. One has to maintain calm and nice attitude when location of Aggression (School, Club, Community, Peer Group) otherwise previous hard work will go in vain!! Use of Positive Statements like:

• This is Challenge so I just need to relax
• I don’t have to take words seriously
• Easy Go!!
• Yes, I’m doing great, See No anger
• I m cool right now and in control!!
  REVIEW LEFT BEHIND ANGER:
  Now, it’s time to celebrate and review the behaviour!!
  Take a Deep Breathe and as you have conquered your anger!!
  Mostly children will have problems in getting adapted to habits but using Problem solving approach one can Control his Impulses with the course of time.
  Satisfaction and Self Confidence improves if the child tries to follow above rules. Strive or attempt to achieve target is essential. Parents may motivate children by saying (“You did your best, that’s OK.” This wasn’t so difficult, isn’t it”, It’s essential that you keep on following this behaviour, it suits you!!)
  
  
   
  
  
  CHANGES REQUIRED WITHIN ENVIRONMENT :( HOME AND CLASSROOM)
  
  

• Use of Flash Cards with Positive Self Statements written on them
• Sticky Notes (I will not Get angry!, I’m a cool Guy!!, I’m at my Best!!, This is a Challenge for me!!), in Each Copy reminding the child not to lose temper in Class.
• Teachers or parents may give child Smiley face each time he Controls his Difficult Temperament
• Making Child Sit with Polite and Quiet attitude rather than with excessively talkative and Impulsive Kids (Good Neighbour)
• Parents may beforehand understand his requirements for Books and Pencils and other things so that there is no creation of Situations leading to Annoyance (Annoyance Avoidance Circumstances).
  
  
  
  
  ADDITIONAL CHALLENGES:
  
  

• If possible parents may involve with child them Topics of disagreement and have Debated with him or her to watch Level of Controlled Anger.
• Movies showing Dissimilarity to child’s thoughts and then parents may have the debate with him.